Tag: life lessons

Posted on

I’m not raising my Mother!

I’m NOT raising my Mother!  You know that whole thing about it comes full circle they raise you and take care of you blah blah blah and then as they get older it’s like everything turns and now you have to do the same for them. Now stick with me I’m not a coldhearted bitch!! I was just a kid who grew up in the 80s, put outside to play as the sun was coming up, drink from the water fountain, hang out with the neighborhood kids til the sun went down. I’m with the generation that our parents were struggling and we didn’t know it so they worked and we raised ourselves on Ramen noodles and scrambled eggs. So yeah, I can throw something together without a recipe, still love to run around barefooted and would much rather enjoy a group of friends sitting around talking rather than stare at a screen. I’m also the generation that when it became our time to have children, we were involved…way too involved. We wanted to be their best friends, save them from everything, give them everything we never had and take care of everything for them. Even when we didn’t have it, we somehow found a way to give it to them. So now we’re exhausted, depleted, and these parents who were nowhere to be found have no relationship with us or our kids are staring at us like toddlers looking for a sippy cup. I’ll just be the one to say it, they’re being put up for adoption!! That’s right, my generation will pay good money to find a nice assisted living facility. Hell let’s just say what it is, a nursing home! Someone else will be preparing your food and wiping your butt because just like you sent our generation out to take care of ourselves, we had to figure it out on our own. But in all things, there is a silver lining and the silver lining here is that we are breaking generational curses,  we exceeded far beyond our capabilities. We have successes through our hard work and though we may be defiant, we are relentless. so yes, we gave everything to our own children and we have nothing left for ourselves or to take care of absentee parents who have returned to our lives. We mean no harm! We had to make our own because they won’t be leaving us riches of an inheritance and that’s OK, we expect nothing. Perhaps that’s why we gave our children attention and love and care and we spend time with them. We never missed a game or a field trip. We sacrificed our own wants and needs to be sure that we were there for it all. So no, I did not add a suite for you when I built my forever home. I’ll come to visit you, in your own dedicated suite. I’ll be sure to send you what you need, probably by way of Amazon because I may not always have time to stop in. You’ll understand as you see all the pictures of me and a happy family that I’ve created. With smiles on our faces and the hugs that were never shared to us. The I love yous that are said just because life is short and you always want your special people to know. You will begin  understand or perhaps you see it now. And if you’re not invited in, I didn’t mean to leave you out. I just didn’t think of you at the time. So perhaps the full circle actually does circle back. A chance to see how it felt to be raised on your own. Just know there is no hard feelings, I’m not mad. I’m proud that I found my own way. I hope deep down you are proud of me too.

Posted on

Raise ’em up

The most important decision they’ll ever make…

How is it that we teach our kids the importance of not talking to strangers, brushing their teeth before bedtime, eating healthy, being kind… you know all the important parenting things!! But we don’t teach them the importance of finding the RIGHT life partner.

We teach them to love everyone, but we don’t teach them that everyone won’t love them.

Somehow, as adults, we know the most important decision we will ever make is the partner we choose to be by our side, but why is it that we do not start installing this in our children from early on?

Not only can the wrong partner ruin your child’s hopes dreams, and even shatter their life. It is proven the people you are around ultimately shape the person you are or who you become. So even a child who has been raised with the greatest of morals and values and a strong foundation could soon find themselves in grave danger stuck with the wrong person. And yet teaching them that the right person will give them love, strength support, and comfort … all of the same things that we as parents give them throughout their entire life. So as a parent imagine, even if you were sitting there holding your infant child, handing them over to the worst imaginable person. After all, we wouldn’t drop them off at a daycare that has a questionable reputation, we wouldn’t teach them to eat poisonous fruits, or lie and steal. We raise them as carefully as possible, worrying all along we are doing it all wrong or damaging the  just to watch them slip into the worst possible relationship that you could ever imagine. Often hurting, watching from the outside knowing what is happening and watching it unfold. As parents, it is not for us to decide, but just as we shape their foundation it is up to us to build expectation for their partner, and we do this by showing them they are worthy, and they deserve someone to love them unconditionally teaching them good work ethic and helping them to search for someone that will help to build their relationship and their future together. We teach them to never give up so we need to make sure that they find someone that they can see themselves with far into eternity because it’s not just about the hear and now it is finding someone who is Christ centered and will help lead them to eternity. It’s about finding someone they can walk together in their faith and build a foundation for their own family. Why do we not think about this until it’s too late?